Yesterday was my baby shower. It was so much fun and lots of laughs. We all decided that the jarred baby food you buy in the store is nothing like the real foods it's supposed to taste like. (It was a game and some of the women got courageous) It was a total success and i was totally exhausted at the end of the day.
My Aunt and Mom brought me home afterward with my mountain of baby goods. They helped me set up the bedding in the crib and i put together the mobile my Noni sent. My sister in law Jennie sorted all the clothes by size for me. When everyone left and it was just Jason and I and an apartment that looked like the babies section in Target exploded all over it, there was still a certain sense of calm in knowing that we are ready for her. Really ready. She has a bed and a snuggly car seat. She has diapers and a changing table and even a few stuffed giraffes and one super cute Elephant from her Auntie Jennie. This baby is so well equipped it's not funny. Now just to wait for her debut.
i've been getting some small contractions on and off for the past few days. Nothing really strong and no water breaking yet. Each time i get a contraction, i think, this is going to be it! i can start mentally preparing! And then i change my position slightly and it subsides. It's such a disappointment to figure out it isn't the real thing yet especially when you're so ready for it. It's getting harder to remember that she's going to come on her time and there's nothing i can really do to speed up the process. I'm a planner and like to at least have a head's up for upcoming events. This event, you can't really plan and it's frustrating me to no end. I suppose it just means that either i'm not as prepared as i seem to think i am for labor or that she's just going to be stubborn like her Mama was.
I'm just wanting to hold her and see her face. It's still like she's not really real yet. I know she's there, i feel her moving but i can't touch her or see her. I just have to have faith in knowing she's coming. Only two more weeks until my due date and then only a maximum of two weeks after that until she comes. So sometime in the next 4 weeks, she's going to be here for sure. It seems like a long time but i know it really isn't. I'm just impatient.